January: Skipping Winter, Living Light
January—the pressure of resolutions and all that. Honestly, winter is not my thing. I love being cosy, and crisp, sunny days are great, but those depressing UK Januaries? Absolutely not.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved the feel of the sun penetrating my skin. There’s something about it—the way it makes me feel alive, connected. And then there’s the clothes: I hate layers. Thick, itchy fabrics feel like a barrier between my body, my essence, and the atmosphere. Summer clothes? Light, soft, flowing—they let me feel connected to the breeze, the sun, and the air around me. Honestly, I think I might have SAD syndrome—those Lumie lights don’t cut it either.
This January, I’m in Bali. I’ll be here until April, which means I’ve skipped winter completely. Somehow, I’ve managed to pull this off for three years in a row! No, I’m not retired. I’m just someone who dreamt of doing this for years and finally made it happen. I feel incredibly lucky, but let me tell you, it wasn’t easy.
Dreams Take Work
Internally, I had to fight against a whole lot of beliefs: “It’s not possible.” “I’m not the kind of person who gets to do that.” “I’m not brave enough.” Those thoughts still creep in sometimes, but fear doesn’t run the show anymore.
I’ve got into a momentum of just putting one foot in front of the other with intention. I ask myself, “What do I want?” “Does this feel like something that will support the life I want?” There’s no going back now. I’ve committed to this—this whatever it is—living life on my own terms.
You’d think it wouldn’t be so hard, right? But it is. Conditioning runs deep. Other people’s views used to matter to me, and the fear of not following the “norms” used to freak me out. But I guess I just wanted more. More for myself.
More
Sometimes I think that’s so self-indulgent—selfish, even. What a privilege it is to sit here pondering my vision, my goals, my thoughts and emotions. But that’s my deep truth- I want more in the way I want to feel. I want simplicity, but I also want beauty. I want mornings that feel like mine. I want to understand my body and composition, knowing that Vitamin D is my best friend. I want to create a life that fulfils me.
Surely, I get to decide that for myself, right?
I think about my parents and how they didn’t have this luxury. They were in survival mode, working hard to provide for me. It seems mad to not explore all the possibilities and opportunities they worked so hard to give me.
A Thought for January
So, if January is “Januarying” hard for you, just remember: you only answer to you. There’s no need for big resolutions or trying to lose however many kilograms. Just tune into what feels true in your body and mind.
I always imagine myself as a 90-year-old grandma on a rocking chair. (I know—very American of me. Porches aren’t really a thing in Leicester.) I picture myself looking back at my life and asking:
“Did I live a life that felt truly like my own?”
And then I remind myself: that’s the only question that really matters.
Love,
Krupa 🧡
